It was weird and confusing. Or maybe the weird part was that it was confusing. Jean really had no idea how to feel about her sudden loss of powers. It wasn't like it was the first time something like this had happened. Hell, the last time it'd really happened she'd chosen to wear the bracelet. It'd made everyone else feel safer and at that point in time she'd felt like it was the only way for her own friends to not be terrified of her. If she hadn't volunteered for it...well, she didn't really want to think about how messy things might have gotten.
Now there was a new layer to her confusion and feelings. There was anger, a weird indignant anger directed at both being trapped here and whatever took her powers. The weirdest part about that was she wasn't entirely sure where that was coming from. Was it from Jean or was it from the parts of the Phoenix she'd merged with? Jury was still out on that one. Then there was the part of her that found it kind of unnerving to not just know things, it was kinda like being naked and empty. Finally, there was a tiny part deep down that kind of found it...nice. She didn't have to worry about talking to someone only to hear their thoughts and realize everything they were saying was just a lie. She didn't have to focus a third of her attention on keeping her mind to herself. Everything was just quiet. She could even let herself think about what it'd be like to be surprised by a present for the first time since her powers manifested.
Which is exactly what happened when she heard the knock. She'd known he was coming but usually she'd know. It was weird to actually react to the knock by getting up after it to go open the door. When she opened it she had a tiny smile on her face but it was undeniable that she just looked tired. Funny that she still had nightmares even without the thoughts of others around. Really said a lot about her didn't it?
"Hey there," she stepped aside to let him come in. "How's it going?"
no subject
That was an entire can of feelings worms that she didn't want to deal with though. There were too many complicated and confusing feelings tied up in that mess to ever properly deal with. Especially when combined with how weird she felt now in general. Normal, even for mutant standards, had sailed past her a long time ago. It sounded so cliché to say but she really had ended up in a position where it felt like nobody really understood her. Or maybe she just didn't understand them anymore. That was an even more terrifying thought.
Now there was a new layer to her confusion and feelings. There was anger, a weird indignant anger directed at both being trapped here and whatever took her powers. The weirdest part about that was she wasn't entirely sure where that was coming from. Was it from Jean or was it from the parts of the Phoenix she'd merged with? Jury was still out on that one. Then there was the part of her that found it kind of unnerving to not just know things, it was kinda like being naked and empty. Finally, there was a tiny part deep down that kind of found it...nice. She didn't have to worry about talking to someone only to hear their thoughts and realize everything they were saying was just a lie. She didn't have to focus a third of her attention on keeping her mind to herself. Everything was just quiet. She could even let herself think about what it'd be like to be surprised by a present for the first time since her powers manifested.
Which is exactly what happened when she heard the knock. She'd known he was coming but usually she'd know. It was weird to actually react to the knock by getting up after it to go open the door. When she opened it she had a tiny smile on her face but it was undeniable that she just looked tired. Funny that she still had nightmares even without the thoughts of others around. Really said a lot about her didn't it?
"Hey there," she stepped aside to let him come in. "How's it going?"