Closed to the Gangsey | Boarding Up The Barns

[un_wir_greywaren]

Who: Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey, Adam Parrish, Blue Sargent, Drill Bit, Kick Ass, Spitfire, Anvil, and Chainsaw.
What: The boys have been busy boarding up The Barns and getting things ready for the storm to hit, including getting Blue her own sleeping bag.
Where: The Barns, Noah Czerny Drive
When: Oct 4th
Warnings: Cursing. There is a goat named Kick Ass and Ronan has no mouth filter. Cuteness. Will add as needed.

~*~

Ronan, Gansey, and Adam spent the last day or so boarding up each of the barns on the property, gathering supplies in case they lose power and the ability to heat food, setting up bedding and food for the goats and Anvil. Chainsaw already has her own special, no furry beasts play zone. They don't own any furniture yet so it's sleeping bags and mattresses on the floor. There are plenty of candles and instead of flashlights Ronan has dreamed up some floating fairy lights and few a glow balls that look like it could be the solar system.

~*~

OOC: Feel free to have your own thread starters anywhere in the house doing anything you'd like with anyone who wants to join.

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[affection_for_research]

While Adam paced around the kitchen, he decided to do something productive that might draw his friend out of whatever thoughts were driving him to move. Sidestepping Adam whenever he was in the way, Gansey began gathering up ingredients for dinner. It might be dinner for all of them or something that he saved for later for nights when neither one of them wanted to cook.

Or would it be when the four of them didn't want to cook? He wasn't certain if everyone was going to live at the Barns or if this was temporary until the storm settled.

Glancing over at Adam, he wanted to ask, but he remembered how he'd been rebuffed whenever he'd offered him a home at Monmouth. All of his things in one place. He knew that Adam hadn't meant to hurt him, but the words still had razored edges that made Gansey worry that they'd start fighting again.

Shaking off that memory, he gathered up herbs and beans, root vegetables and pasta. He grabbed the large soup pot to set on the stove before starting to wash produce. When Adam opened another cupboard, Gansey smiled. "What's in them isn't going to magically change no matter what oddities are built into the house."

[forleaving]

Adam made sure to keep out of Gansey's way, watching him out of the corner of his eye as he worked. "I know," he said with a sigh. "Sorry." If he was being annoying, opening and closing the cupboards. "I'm just-" he shook his head. He was 'just' a lot of things right now, and sure of even less.

"I thought everything would be okay if this--this thing was just with you." Which reminded him he should talk with Blue about things, to see what else was wrong with his world. "But it's not." He resisted the urge to open another cabinet, instead focusing on Gansey. Not his face, but what he was doing, his hands, the running water.

[affection_for_research]

"Aurora used to tell Matthew that what was in the cupboards wouldn't change no matter how often he looked." He paused, looking down at the carrots he'd finished rinsing. "Knowing about the Barns now, I wonder if that was true." What might have been magic and what might have been mundane was ambiguous. Maybe the contents of the cabinets had changed if Matthew looked often enough or the contents moved from one to the other.

"Which thing are you referring to?" He started on the celery next, trying to remember what was next. He'd have to find the recipe he'd written down. It might be with the books he'd checked out the last time he'd went to work. Ronan probably wouldn't care if it wasn't quite like the recipe, but he didn't want the others to be disappointed. Usually carrots, onions, and celery went together as the base.

It was easier to think of those details than his voice on the tape and where that would lead. Better to think of how to make sure dinner turned out as expected than to think of what Adam had told him before. "We've been thrown a lot of 'things' lately."

[forleaving]

He made a quiet noise. With how many dreamed things had been in the original Barns, maybe anything had been possible. He'd only been there a summer himself, but everything had seemed magical.

"This time thing," he clarified. "Me having lived through things you haven't. It's the same with Ronan." He didn't understand why it was happening, or if he could change it. He felt almost like he'd done something wrong, like the universe was punishing him. Being kidnapped had been bad enough, but now with this on top of it... there was too much to figure out and not enough answers.

He was hung up on it, but wouldn't anybody be in his situation? He didn't mind that they'd forgotten the terrible things. Some of the things they'd been through he would only wish on his worst enemies, but the rest...the good things...

[affection_for_research]

Setting side the what he needed next, he considered the situation, how best to answer. Was there a best answer? Was there one that would keep things calm between them? He knew that that he needed to be careful of his words, especially when there was a possibility that they were going to be stuck in the house for days. Don't make Adam angry...

"Why isn't it okay?" Choosing one of the few knives they had, he found the cutting board - put up high so none of the goats could decide to try to taste it - and began working on chopping vegetables. "We've all lived through things that the others can't understand. It's never caused us serious harm before."

But he had the feeling that this was going to lead to another discussion of Gansey's secrets. And his decisions regarding them. "We deal with what's happened as best we can. We keep moving forward." It's what had kept him going during the quest, while dealing with the trauma of the past. "It's all any of us can do."

[forleaving]

He wasn't worried about serious harm or anything happening to them because of their differences in experiences. Instead he was, maybe selfishly, worried about his own heart. Part of him knew it was okay to be worried about himself because he'd never loved before (or had he?) and he'd never felt worthy of anyone else's love.

It wasn't 'maybe' selfish; he felt entirely selfish. And he hated it.

"I'm trying to keep moving forward." He was moving forward. He took things one day at a time. "But I love him and I got used to things being a certain way," he said, all in one breath. There. Now it was out there, now Gansey knew. It wasn't a secret; he didn't want to treat it as one.

[affection_for_research]

"You - what?" Setting down the knife, he tried to process what Adam had just said. Adam was dating Blue. He was serious about Blue, or as serious as someone could be after dating for a few weeks. And he'd never really seen any signs that Adam was interested in guys. "Beg pardon?"

He assumed that the 'he' was Ronan since Adam had mentioned the time differences between them. That was just as much of a surprise as the 'him'. Ronan and Adam. They were...

Something unexpected tightened his chest and he had to ruthlessly shove aside emotions that were completely inappropriate. Carefully picking up the bunch of celery, Gansey told himself to start working. He had to continue even if what Adam said didn't make sense to him. Ganseys did not let feelings get the better of them. "I think I misheard you."

[forleaving]

"You didn't. Ronan and I have been dating for a year, and he doesn't remember any of it." What were you supposed to do when your boyfriend didn't remember being your boyfriend? Adam had already vowed not to push Ronan into anything. He didn't want him to feel forced or obligated or like he didn't have enough space. Ronan would decide what he was going to do with his life, whether or not it involved Adam, and Adam...no matter how painful the 'not' option was, he would accept it either way.

"He kissed me first," he added, "Otherwise I don't think I would have made a move." He just would have gone on looking and not doing anything about it. He just had to remind himself that he still had Ronan as a friend, and he could do anything with Ronan at his side.

[affection_for_research]

"You're dating Ronan?" He said the words slowly, trying to put them into a context that was understandable. "I thought you were dating Blue." He knew that they were having some struggles, but he'd thought that they would work them out. Adam had been asking him for advice. He'd been trying to keep that relationship together. The idea that Adam had secretly been infatuated - more than infatuated - with Ronan didn't fit that situation.

Continuing with prepping dinner, he told himself that he needed to be supportive. He had to ignore the odd pang of something best not identified when he thought of Ronan and Adam together. He knew he needed to say something, but the words seemed stuck. Or jumbled in a way that could be dangerous if spoken aloud. "I didn't know."

[forleaving]

"I was." Which was a fitting answer to both things. "And it was never going to be me and Blue forever. She didn't even want to kiss me." He wasn't bitter about it anymore, not when he'd had his own happiness and saw how Blue and Gansey were together. He wasn't even bitter about Ronan not remembering things. He was bitter about this place screwing with things, bringing them here in the first place.

"It's okay," he added, "I'm not torn up about Blue." He had been, a long time ago when he'd felt unlovable, but that had changed. Now he just wanted Blue to be happy no matter who she was with.

[affection_for_research]

"Blue didn't want you to kiss her because she didn't want to kill you." That hadn't been his secret to tell, but if Adam was from the future, he must know the truth by now. Even if he didn't, things felt so off balance. Giving Blue's reason for distance gave him something to ground his thoughts upon. He still felt as if his equilibrium had vanished, emotions tangled behind his ribs, in his heart and mind, but at least he had some focus.

"How does she feel about it?" The questions was spoken before Gansey could stop himself, his voice edged with something that he didn't understand. Every conversation that they had without the others nearby seemed to leave him adrift. Everything he thought he knew about the past and future seemed to crumble whenever they spoke. "She seemed to want to date you."

[forleaving]

"I know. She told me." But she hadn't wanted to kiss him anyway, and he knew he'd been a jerk about it, but it had hurt. He seemed to have a knack for being a jerk to Blue, no matter how much he cared about her and didn't want to fight with her.

He'd never actually thought about what Blue thought of him and Ronan. They'd never talked about it, and Blue had already been so tangled up with Gansey... Adam didn't want to mention that part. He was trying not to overwhelm Gansey still, even though he had a feeling he'd failed miserably already. "She's...okay with it, I guess. We didn't actually talk about it," he admitted.