fluxscape | i will hold you, and protect you...

Entry tags:

i will hold you, and protect you...

What: Sam, Lou, and OPEN to visitors
Where: Sam's Apartment
When: Second week of June
Warnings: N/A, will update if needed

He honestly can't believe it. Ever since he really got to know his BB unit, he knew, he knew who it was. That this was Lou, who he thought he'd lost so long ago. If asked, he couldn't tell you how he knew it was her. DOOMs, maybe. Or just fatherly instinct. Or a mix of both.

It doesn't matter now. What matters is that she's here, in his arms. And he is never letting her go.

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It had been tricky. He didn't think Lou would make it. She almost didn't, she was on the edge for a bit but Jean was there to lend her special touch. Bring some life and warmth into the little girl and now, here she is. Wrapped in a blanket, in Sam's arms.

If he's crying, it's from relief and joy.

"Thank you," he says roughly. "I couldn't have done this without you."

Truth be told Jean wasn't entirely sure if she could do something like that. Sure, she'd reversed time, brought all of her dead friends back, destroyed the big bad, flown through space, all that jazz. But the reality was she really had no idea where her limits existed, if there even were limits. Clearly there were or she wouldn't be stuck here. There was also the question of if she should be doing things like this. Sure, it was good to help out, but should someone with power like hers? What was done was done though and it definitely felt nice to help.

She wiped her brow and gave him a gentle smile. "I'm just glad to be able to do something helpful here. And," she rubbed the back of her neck, "to be able to do something helpful with what I am now. Sorry if it was a bit...much." It was kind of embarrassing how showy her abilities could get with an aura of flames that took over her body. At least she'd managed to not fully transform into some fiery being. Small favors. The last thing she wanted to do was scare someone she was trying to help. "It just sorta happens when I tap into that."

"Believe it or not, I've seen worse. Or -- more much, I guess." He settles Lou into her crib, tucking the blankets around her and setting a stuffed animal near by. Amazing, how much better she looks already, out of the pod.

"My sister. She -- her powers were so far beyond mine. It was like she didn't even have DOOMs, she was where DOOMs came from."

"More much, huh?" she watched him put the little girl into her crib and her smile got just a bit bigger. Her merger with the god had brought a lot of mixed feelings in her that she hadn't exactly had time to sort through. Being able to see someone actually benefiting from it directly was really nice. It helped that it was seeing a father showing his affection for his daughter. That was something she'd desperately wanted from her own dad but never ended up getting. Instead she'd gotten ignored and...well, worse sometimes.

"That sounds pretty impressive. Was she born like that or did it come around later in her life?"

Sam reaches for the dreamcatcher necklace he no longer wears, and lets his hand drop to the side. "She was born that way. An Extinction Entity, she called it. Someone with godlike powers who was meant to bring about the end of the world. Her powers were -- endless, it seemed like. And she could boost the powers of those around her, if she chose to."

Sam takes a deep breath, looking at Lou in her crib rather than looking at Jean. "What is it like? Having all that power, knowing what you can do with it?"

"That sounds...pretty awful. To be called an extinction entity that's meant to bring the end of the world." It sounded depressing and like a terrible expectation to have hanging over you. Then again there were people that had thought similar about her, weren't there? She frowned and bit down on her lower lip awkwardly.

"You know you're different. Like, I already knew I was different being a mutant, you know? But I lived at a school with other mutants so at least there we were all different together," she chuckled and shook her head at how silly that sounded to say aloud. There was a weird comfort in being different together. "Humans really don't like us, so we kinda had to stick together. When I started showing signs of maybe being more than just a mutant thought..." she looked over at the baby and kept her focus there as a certain amount of sadness came over her. "People were really scared of me. They were afraid I'd just destroy everything or write them out of existence. There was also a lot of worrying about if I could actually control it." Which had been valid at some points, early on she definitely hadn't been able to. That was partially due to the Professor convincing her it wasn't real and she was just unstable.

"After I finally accepted it all though it was...difficult. It was only a few months ago and it's hard for me to relate now? I dunno. It's weird. I was in space before I got here, just flying past different planets with entire civilizations that people on Earth don't even know about. It's hard to feel connected now."

Edited 2021-06-12 00:16 (UTC)

"You're relating to me okay. You saved my daughter's life, that has to count for something. Score one for team humanity, right?" He tries to smile, but it comes out lopsided and sad. She sounds so much like Amelie and it breaks his heart. But at the same time, there's so much more goodness to Jean than his sister ever had.

"The difference between you and her is you want to relate. You want to control it. You don't want to destroy the whole damn universe. And that makes you better. It means you've got a chance."

"It was partially selfish, but I guess that's at least one for team humanity," She bit down on her lip and gave him the tinniest of smiles. At least part of it had been her own past wanting to see a father and daughter love each other.

"I didn't at first. Want to relate. I just kinda...left everyone. And Earth." She rubbed the back of her neck admitting that. She'd known what they'd all felt about her telling them she was leaving, especially Scott, but she'd done it anyway. At the time she hadn't cared at all. Now though, she wasn't sure how much she cared. Sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all. "I definitely don't want to destroy the universe." Her voice got a bit lower. "I caused some problems like that though." And hadn't exactly cared. "Got a chance, huh?"

"Being a human is hard. Behind a human with powers is harder. I mean -- I'd wake up in the morning and I'd hear this scientist's voice being like hey we stole a bunch of your blood and bodily fluids while you were sleeping hope you don't mind. Gonna run some experiments on them.

And those experiments showed that my blood and -- other stuff made a good weapon against the monsters that were crawling all over our world. So they kept making me eat these bugs that replenished blood, and then would steal more of it. Didn't really ask if I wanted to, just did it in my sleep. It was enough to say fuck you, fuck the planet, I'm out. Just go back to my old life. But I didn't.

And you didn't destroy the universe. We're all about the choices we make, right?"

"Gotta love scientists, right?" she frowned and rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry you went through that. I had some similar experiences with the government and some cults and the government again. It sucks to know that some people just see you as a weapon. Or something to be used." Seemed like her entire life had ended up that way and it sucked to know it happened to other people in other worlds. Wasn't exactly surprising though, which was just depressing.

"Yeah...that was kind of the theme of my life: choices. I was chosen by this...god entity thing when I was young. I think it had something to do with my dual telepathy and telekinesis making me some sort of perfect choice. I used to have visions of this fiery bird telling me to accept her gift. Everyone just thought I was nuts though, locked me up and convinced me I was crazy." She shrugged. "Turns out I wasn't crazy. The Phoenix was super real and way more than anyone thought. When I accepted it's offer to save my world we merged, so now we're both. There isn't a difference anymore and...it's weird. It feels weird."

"So you're both you, and the Phoenix? That must be overwhelming." To say the very least. And to hear the way she was treated when she tried to tell people -- Sam shakes his head, disgusted. He was treated as both a freak and a miracle cure after they found out what his blood could do to BTs, but at least they never locked him up.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I hope it gets easier for you. Being the Phoenix."

"Yeah, I know how crazy that probably sounds but that's...pretty much how it is." Crazy. Funny how that word seemed to appear over and over again. She hadn't been crazy though, not in the slightest but she still couldn't shake the feelings behind it. Or the worry that someone else would hear her and immediately think she just sounded like a nutcase.

She shook her head. "Don't be sorry. It worked out for the best in the end. I saved my friends. My world even. It's just...complicated now. Weird." Empty.

"I don't think it sounds crazy at all. But maybe that's because I've seen some crazy things, in the last few months." His sister had been with her soul split from her body and lived her life in two different dimensions at once. Not much feels crazy to him, not after Amelie's confession.

"It sounds complicated. But at least you were able to save everyone."

There was a bit of sadness behind the smile she gave him and then she shrugged. "Thanks. That's actually uh, it's really nice to hear someone say that. One of the things about being a telepath is you always know everything and..." her shoulders slumped just a bit. "Actually I probably wouldn't have even needed to be a telepath to know that all my friends are pretty much torn between thinking I'm nuts and being terrified of me." Even Scott. Which definitely sucked more than she'd really realized.

"No more complicated than your stuff sounds. Yours may be more complicated actually," she said with another little smile. "Maybe that means his place will be easier for us? We're already used to crazy situations that are complicated."

"This place has already been a lot better -- a lot easier than home. If you can even call it home. It's easier than where I'm from, we'll say that. It's safer, so far. Lou already has half a dozen people who want to help take care of her.

I'm not alone, here. It's... good. It's good."

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i will hold you, and protect you...

closed starter for Jean Grey, just post delivery

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